this is how i feel

it's been a while since my last post... i wasn't in the mood to post anything regardless of the news out there... well this is a blog regarding the best man in my life yet i feel like there is something wrong somewhere.. first of all, we've declared that we need each other.. but it seems that when he's me he care less bout me.. it makes me wonder if those tears shed was truly for me... i wonder if that is the true feelings and what's left now is the feeling to protect me... i wonder.. cuz he's care less almost about everything.. about how i'd feel, about how am i.. or even about me... -sigh- i tot at least he'll spend more time for me at time like this.. im not asking for him to pamper me.. im not asking him to be here with me... just accompany me.. sleep me thru the night... hear me.. comfort me... i dont know why suddenly i miss the old times when i was with another.. the one who always care more about me n how m i doing who care more about my condition.. who would spend the night awake just to have me sleeping.. i miss that.. i miss that person who would ask me to cry when i really nid one.. who lend me his shoulders for my head to rest.. who lend me his ears for me to shout n scold even it wasnt his fault.. who rather comfort me even he's not.. how i long for that man in situation like this.. at least i dont feel lonely when my parents are all gone.. n nobody for me to go n cry with.. no body for me to say im not alright to.. just lying here like a dying person.. bear with the pain on my own... how i wish that person is here ...